1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 3

[Barrybran]

But I'm not sure how to handle? Any thoughts?

Take that timeline, screw it up, throw it out the window and if it comes back, burn it. One thing I've learned is that there is no timeline. Sure, it would be fantastic if everything fell into place by a certain time but it doesn't work like that. My anniversary is next month and right now, it's a non-event. I still have confidence my situation will work out though. Working along a timeline is an attempt at control.

As I said in my previous post, you know that your husband responds well to a little pursuit. I don't think there's any harm doing that at this point as long as you do the following:

- keep it about you, him and the kids;
- apply NO pressure. He will come around in his own time and honestly, it may take longer than it did before because you've zeroed his trust account; and
- you focus on yourself away from your interactions with your husband (ie. GAL).

Also:

Man, it seems suddenly we have so, so much going against us now. I just can't get over how dramatically things have turned for the worse. You think you have some measure of control over your life but in the end, you really don't.

This may sound harsh but you were in control. Sure, you didn't control him, and you never will, but you controlled yourself and he responded positively. As things improved, you started to expect him to move toward you faster and when he didn't, you started to feel anxious. From this point, you started to try and control the situation and instead lost control of yourself and your emotions.

Please believe in yourself. Everyone here does. OW being in the picture makes things harder, not impossible. The key here is you mastering your emotions.