I was just reading your post here. I feel for you because I understand it all too much!
I guess the one thing I've noticed now 3 years post Bomb drop, separation, divorce and now EX getting re married, is that it takes a long time for our hearts to move forward. We may carry on, keep going on with life, living it fully, but our hearts don't always keep up the pace. Our hearts tend to back slide too!
It's the little things we take for granted that haunt us. Like you're saying that if your W and girls were gone for a few days without you, you knew they were coming back. You had someone to talk to. And now, it's too damn quiet!
I too have times like that. Even 3 years later. Im rather short 5ft 2 to be exact. Ex is 6ft. I miss having someone tall around to reach things. I miss having someone big and strong to re arrange furniture. I do miss having someone to help parent my girls.
You grow into it Matt. It takes time. This is the worst growing pain anyone can have but it is indeed a growing pain and it does get easier. And as time goes by, things that might really upset you now, won't be anything but an " oh well" later down the road! And that's such a good feeling.
You're doing well in moving forward and identifying you're feelings. Just don't push yourself too hard! I've pushed myself too hard at times, and it tends to always come back and bite me in the butt later!
