Ok. Falling out of love. My two cents: you don't have to stop loving her. You have to stop NEEDING to love her and NEEDING to express your love.
Youre right. You don't know her. You do but don't. Just as you are changing into a different person, so is she. And she has a head start. Be PATIENT. Suppose you just met girl, took her on a date, then asked her to marry you. That is way too fast!!! Well- shes different, youre different. I'm learning that the re-commitment to a dead marriage is just as big a step as going from first date to marriage the first time around.
Personally I'd hold off on the invite and let her take the lead. It may hurt, but you have no idea how differently she may feel than you do right now. You have loving feelings for her and are waitin to fall into each others arms. She is somewhere totally different. Don't pursue as it forces her to back away and not consider what she's missing. Don't trust me, trust everyone else that says that. It's counter intuitive.
Instead, grow to be content with what you have. If god told you you'd never have her in your life again would you choose to be unhappy forever? If the answer is yes then you're putting way too much pressure on the situation, and that's not healthy. Find out why you'd say yes and work on you. If you'd say no, great, appreciate what you have and let it go.
The difference between detaching and giving up is that you continue to work on you, for you. So all those other guys just go get drunk And bang skanks. You are behaving differently then them. That's why you stand more chance of reconciliation. But when you start pursuing, thinking of what you need as opposed to what she needs (space) and why you need it so much (growth), then you're right back with the others that will always wonder why it didn't work out.
Just my opinions and some of this doesn't directly apply, I guess this is what's been on my mind so thought I'd share.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
