Trying to detach

[Zues126]

One guide I have been using for what changes I am making is this: if I knew for sure my Stbx wouldn't ever be open to working things out, would I still make this change?

From that lense, there may be changes my wife wanted me to make that I'm only now getting around to. But only if I am doing it because I realize now that I'm wrong and need to grow in those areas to be a better person, period.

I am NOT making changes that don't meet this test. Because that means I'm not really ready to sustain those changes anyway, it wouldn't work or I'd be miserable, and she'll sniff those out anyway and it will looking manipulation and pursuing.

So- how would the person you want to be for YOU handle this encounter? Just do that and detach from her behavior.