CSan - Filed, moving and life goes on....

[CS000]

Meghan,

I appreciate your message as I has so much anger and pain when I found out that the decree had come in the mail and how cold my XH sounded over his text messages about how my priorities where messed up. He seems up and down that it is confusing. To make matters worse, I drank that night at a bar with my friend and she and I ended up hanging out with the waiter. Nothing happened but my XH found out about it and was pi$$ed. He knew about it that whole night and didn't say to me for 2 days. Apparently the waiter used to work for him and text my H to let him know and asked if it was okay to talk to me. I thought he was done with me and on Friday night when he confronted me about that night, he asked for my wedding rings back. I brought them to him and he just went off on me about how irresponsible I was and stupid for going with a stranger. I apologized and said that I thought he was done with me and I wasn't thinking. He then told me he knew about it and was testing me to see if I would come clean and us have a clean slate but I didn't and all I do is hurt him. He told me that I'm the reason why he failed his kids and that's one of the biggest reasons why he wanted the divorce. My XH then told me that I needed to spend more time with my boys and mom as she is getting sicker from the cancer and that I need to fix myself. He also said I hurt him so bad that he is numb and can't get things straight which is why he is leaving for 2 weeks after his kids leave and that this is too small of a town where he knows a lot of people and he wants to move out of town. I did all the wrong things - tried to justify my mistakes, asked for another chance and cried. I went home got little sleep and I sent him a text if he would meet me so I could talk to him. I just wanted to apologize in person and he agreed. We met up at Starbucks and he began by saying that he hates being angry with me. He then waited for me to say what I needed to say. I apologized for hurting him and making him feel humiliated and for behaving recklessly. He said he didn't want me to get hurt and affect my boys and he didn't want anything to happen to me. He said he was still fine seeing, texting and me like for coffee. H I apologized for ruining our chance for a new start and he said I'm not taking that off the table. He then said let's go for a short ride on his bike and he also said that I could hold him. The ride was nice and when we got off he pulled me in for a hug and then a kiss on the cheek which I went for his lips. I apologized and he said it was fine. We hugged again and this time he kissed me on my lips. We didn't text again till the following day. I just wished him and his kids a good day. Well while I was at the store with my S 12, he dropped off my mail at my apartment and saw that the name inside had my 1st XH last name and my XH sent me a text asking how long it was like that. I told him that it was labeled like that since my S 16 got his mail there first. He gets jealous I think but this is crazy all the moods my XH goes through and I can't read him. A 2x4 is needed please