Trying to detach

[HeadUp]

Your right pilot. It is way to early to give up and God it is hard to do NC and 180's and not ask how she is or if she is ok. I have been reading alot of defensiveness (me all the way) and always having to be right. I want that 23 year old that found my W and was happy and cheerful and laughed all the time and smiled, and had more hair on his head. He is still here I just have kept him locked on a closet thinking that I was doing the right thing and grow up. What I didn't realize was that he was an important part of me and I wasn't doing the right thing. He is coming back slowly but he is showing up at the party now.

She has all 4 of the kids this weekend. She is going to be dropping off our 2 at my house on Friday. I am not looking forward to it because I know she is going to be upset that she has been watching them all week. But if I project that everything is going to be fine and not let her bait me into a conversation that I will back slide and show her that I am caring and I understand that it is hard to watch 4 kids by yourself...would that go against the NC? Help I am lost again and I ran into a wall.