We all have good days and bad days. Today's a bad day - or it has been one up until now. Sometimes you just have to decide that it's not going to be a bad day anymore and move on.
For instance - H is going to OW's city tomorrow. I have NO idea now what is going on. In the past, I have usually spent this day fretting and acting cold towards him. Today it is a beautiful day in the northeast so I've been outside with the dog. I've been super polite and pleasant to strangers (and hey - they're nice back, so that feels good!). I've spent much of the day with D and her friend getting them ready for camp. If I'm distracted, then I'm not so much of a mess. Distract yourself! I've got LOTS more to do on my to do list....if you don't have a to do list - make one! On my to do list include some work things, some home things, and some everyday things (like - find something that makes me feel good....Yesterday I heard bullfrogs when I was running, and that made me smile. Today I spied a cardinal flying around, brilliant red through a verdant green forest...That was a thing of beauty!).
Anyway - hang in there. I know you feel needy. I totally, totally get it. But when you detach a little bit, you realize, maybe not ACTUALLY needy. I think we like to think that we are needed and it's nice to feel like you "need" someone...but you don't. That's a little sad, I get it. I was at the airport this weekend looking at lots of couples reuniting, and I wondered if I would ever have that exciting, super happy rush again. I might not....BUT - I'm okay. I really am okay standing on my own two feet. Would I like to get back to that place? I think so...I don't know if I ever will. That was a place based on fearlessness and blind trust, and I don't know if I will ever feel that way again. Time will tell.
