"If you can't STFU and listen, then I'd suggest that you wait 24-72 hours until you are ABLE to support H."

I agree. Although I'm pretty certain that H would not bring up OW if I were to call him, other than maybe to state the facts (i.e., she's in the office right now). I just don't think he would. I think the way he would honestly share his feelings is if he and I were spending time in a casual environment and he felt relaxed and safe enough with me that it came up spontaneously. Otherwise, while he might answer direct questions if I ask, it wouldn't really be a heartfelt sharing/supporting kind of conversation, kwim?

M: 42
H: 43
M: 8 years
S7 and D4
H has D19 and S25 from previous M
Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA
1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail
2nd separation: 5/1/14