And here's the thing: you get to choose which path YOU will take. When your H is in touch again, you can choose to be light and breezy. Or, you can choose to say: "Hmmm. A lot has changed recently. I'm not sure HOW I feel about that anymore..."
I would suggest that you, MDU, be the contrast and show H the inner strength that is hidden deep inside that muck of fear & insecurity.
At this point, I would not even bring up those feelings to H. You want H to feel comfortable confiding in YOU and not shut down. At this critical juncture, H needs to feel that he has YOU in his corner...not the opposite corner fighting him like Muhammad Ali.
Yeah, I'm with Train on pulling back for a few days and allow H space to process seeing the OW at the office today.
