1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 2

[Train]

I have to disagree that if there's no "withdrawal period" then the spouse isn't ready. My H never went through a withdrawal. He said he got sick of how clingy and needy OW was *while he was still seeing her*. Kicking her to the curb, he recounts, was a relief.

Perhaps if the A is *mostly emotional* then there's a "withdrawal period." But not necessarily when it's mostly a PA.

My point is: not all As look alike.

mdu, I'm happy to see you thinking here ... as opposed to out loud in front of your H. This is a safe place on which you can bounce your deepest insecurities and fears ... and hopes and desires. That's why we are here.

I'm also glad to see you paying attention to the patterns in your sitch.

I'm sure today is super difficult. But know you're doing the right thing by giving your H space to sort this out.

And here's the thing: you get to choose which path YOU will take. When your H is in touch again, you can choose to be light and breezy. Or, you can choose to say: "Hmmm. A lot has changed recently. I'm not sure HOW I feel about that anymore..."