1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 2

[mdu]

Thx Maybell. I really, really appreciate your posting (as well as unbidden). I really need to hear this counter point of view so I can make wise decisions at this very precarious time.

There is a good chance that H went through withdrawals initially. As a matter of fact, that may be a big reason why our initial reconciliation went sour. He was surly and moody and not at all ready to connect with me. I thought he was still involved with OW but he has consistently denied it and said that he was trying to get over her; so it's entirely possible that it was withdrawals. I so couldn't take the uncertainty and how he was acting that I asked him to leave and our MC at the time agreed. That was how we separated most recently. I sometimes look back and wonder if that was the right thing, if I'd just been better able to detach and tolerate his moods if he'd still be in the house now. Unfortunately I don't think I was up to the task.

So, I am very cognizant of not making any rash decisions. I do fear that he may simply need some time to sort this out and I'm moving too quickly (again).

But it's awful, truly. My stomach has been in knots all day.

Also, when I read all my prior posts I realized that the #1 thing that pulled him back to me was MY reaching out to HIM. I know everyone says he should pursue but he really, really warmed and things really started to turn after we separated and I started calling him just to chat. Then he started asking me to lunch, then I asked him to dinner and he was literally over the moon.

So if I really want to try to draw him back in, I wonder if I should pursue again. It seems so WRONG under the current circumstance, yet it's what worked previously. And I actually happen to have a big development at work I could share.