WAH with OW/EA - advice wanted! :)

[LisaB]

Hey Dbers, need a bit of advice again.
My H messaged me again asking to meet for a drink. I had told him last week that I was too busy but that this week might be better so I guess he is following up. I am truly busy, and he knows this is the case and I'm not just trying to look cool.

Anyway...I asked this same question before and got great advice. My problem is that now I have also talked to my friends IRL and they are telling me to do things that are not really DB. So I am hoping that someone on here can give me some support and feedback that can push me in the right direction.

I have not replied to his newest request to meet yet. When I asked friends for their advice they said he might want to clear the air and tell me about OW (he doesn't know I know). OW even might be pressuring him to do it so they don't have to be secretive (I'm not 100% sure they are seeing each other still but I assume so). They say that I should not agree to meet without saying something first for example asking exactly what he wants to discuss, or telling him I don't want to discuss the R or anything stressful. Others suggested telling him I'm still hurt and don't want to meet yet. One person even said I should tell him I already know about OW so if that is why he wants to meet there is no need.

I feel all of these are NOT DB techniques. As far as I understand I am not supposed to bring up the R or OW. I am supposed to act as if I am completely fine and happy and my happiness has nothing to do with him, and therefore I should not show that I am concerned about meeting nor tell him I am hurt. I am supposed to be cool as a cucumber.

But it is true that I am terrified he wants to meet to tell me something I don't want to hear. And I do not want to meet to hear bad news, especially news I already know (aka OW). So what to do?

Ben2010 gave me great advice but now with this onslaught of advice IRL I am really scared and worried.

I am stuck in a analysis paralysis. HELP!
Hugs, Lisa