I've taken the time to look over some of my previous posts and I almost think I'm the bi-polar one. I realize now that I have been on her roller coaster, and this is part of why I felt I had to move out of the apartment. After re-reading some of the posts here I realize moving out and also filing for D was wrong on my part, at the time I felt I really did have no choice. I do feel I have made more progress by being away from her and in the long run I don't think I could have avoided any of the verbal/written (text) abuse I have received.
As mentioned in my others posts, I think some of the behavior is is part of who my W is. I can justify that by talking to her brother and her mother who have both said very similar stories of W's past behavior. W is also not welcome to live with any of her family members based on prior experience.
I know my short comings in this; not spending time with her, ultimately neglecting her, playing video games. I do feel I was the WAH from late 2013 to mid-2014. I had initially tried to "date W" and "pursue" and "reason" and it was all shot down. After joining DB I have learned a great deal, in addition to the book as well.
Recently, I have attempted to validate her feelings when she texts me with some success. Going back to what her brother said, "she has trouble dealing with stress." I have found that not replying when she accuses me of "ruining her life" she does not usually follow up. The ruin her life comment is new since the last post. I have tried to find 3rd party views and the general consensus was that she is just not sure what she wants. I tend to agree, she is still directing her anger at me for the most part and I try to leave her without more ammo to blast me with.
I have received a promotion at work, I'm in charge of about 25 people now and I like it. I keep my mind busy and I'm still going strong at the gym. This Tuesday the 22nd I will see and talk to her again while I get my military gear for this upcoming field exercise. During this exercise I will only be 2.5 hours away and she will still be here for most of the 3 weeks I will be gone.
I will see my IC Tuesday just before I head out to talk to my W. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
"Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing, and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you. And stay." ~ Will Smith
