1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 2

[Barrybran]

I was totally unprepared for ZERO solutions from him. I was so anticipating this conversation and to get nothing from him when we had been connecting so much, it was really a big letdown.

^This is an expectation and you know the power of those by now.

Then I started the questioning because I thought somehow that would draw things out. As I said, he's a horrible communicator. I thought I just need to somehow get it out of him. But that didn't go well either.

Your situation is a little different because your husband has responded to a little coaxing. You went beyond "a little coaxing" though, didn't you? Have you read the squirrel analogy? Your outbursts are like trying to grab the squirrel as it goes to eat.

I guess my only option would have been to get off the phone as soon as he had no solutions to offer?

Exactly! A short, pointless conversation is better than one where you fly off the handle at him. It's a lot easier to move forward from neutral territory than it is to do so from negative territory. If you feel yourself losing control, get out of that situation pronto. You can always go back to it later.