1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 2

[mdu]

Tough, tough afternoon. It's amazing how much my mood goes up and down in just one day. Is that normal?

H has pulled way, way back. Hasn't texted me all day and nothing yesterday either. I'm not contacting him. Feeling very much like the ball is in his court. I keep thinking that he is going to test things out with OW this week. Yuck, makes me so sick, sad and heartbroken. I know I shouldn't speculate but how can I not? Also keep feeling like this situation is quite hopeless. If we saw each other I feel like I would have a fighting chance. I know he's still attracted to me and as long as I keep things light I know he enjoys our interactions. But we actually don't have much opportunity for this anymore, the kids don't have any more activities right now which brought us together a lot previously but not now.

I just can't get over how dramatically things have turned for the worse. I can't believe that OW has actually moved and will be working in his office. It's unbelievable how far things have gone. I'm just so utterly shocked. It seems so brazen of her no matter how you look at it.

I keep thinking about him saying that he doesn't think we should hang out with the kids because he's afraid it will confuse them. Two weeks ago we spent a full day (his birthday) all together and it was a non-issue. Now suddenly it's an issue...hmm