Dealing with WAW Part 3

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Thanks for the thoughtful and insightful reply sandi. Sorry to hear you lost your long reply, but thank you for taking the time to rewrite one.

I think I got the initial part of what not to do once we separated. It is the part where she begins to move in my direction a little is where I get confused/frozen. For the sake of not doing something wrong, I usually do nothing at all. I am very grateful you came in to offer your opinion/viewpoint on what is going on. It is reassuring that you seem to agree that my evening went well. If I could do one thing over, it would probably be how I introduced a negative to chill things off. I think I could have found a better way to cool things without putting a negative into an otherwise good evening. Live and learn...

I will take your advice and get a hotel room. Even if she offered to let me stay with her, then the whole 'is it the bed or is it the couch' question pops up, and quite frankly, the couch would seem kinda awkward at her parents. So best to avoid that altogether. SInce I will be flying into her town in my plane, and being a small town with no car rental companies, I will be at her mercy of having to be driven everywhere.

We have not really spoken/text much since the day she left. I have not initiated anything other than asking to facetime with the kids. I do agree given the past times we have been together, she will probably be just as friendly as before. I will listen to advice from you, labug, 25, and others and take a little more risk by offering compliments, etc. I really hate the timing of the school issue being right now as it is a dark cloud hanging over us at the moment. Of course I will not bring up any R or M talk. But I believe it was 25 who pointed out that perhaps she is just as afraid of taking that first step towards even seeing of a R is possible. So without me taking that step, I probably need to at least do what I can to show the door is open. How? I do not have a clue just yet. Other than keep up the PMA, the 180s, and just being f'ing awesome around her

Any thoughts, input, advice, or criticism in the meantime is always welcome!!!

Thanks again to all who chime in!

I was told something very interesting by my MC and I realized today that I do what you do. My WW is in my home but still has a relationship with OM. She claims its just friends but moved back out of our bedroom to get her head straight. She wants no physical closeness with any man right now.

So this is what my MC said and why WW in my case may have changed her sleeping arrangements.

She said to think of fishing with live bait. You toss the bait out into the water and the fish starts to nibble. you sense the nibble and try to set the hook to soon or reel in the line to soon. If you set the hook to soon it usually comes flying out of the water and becomes a tangled mess. If you reel to soon you just end up with no fish and no bait.

In either case you have to re-bait the hook and cast it back out.

However if you leave the bait out there and wait patiently for the fish to engulf the hook and you set it at that point, you more then likely will have Fish for dinner.

I thought this was a pretty good metaphor for what we are going through and doing.