GB - yes, I hear what you're saying and it could very well be that way w/ my H (as evidenced by what comes next...)
So H texted me that I got a very good coupon in the mail that expires soon and I may want to pick it up ASAP. I did, in fact, want that coupon, so I stopped by the house today on the way to do errands to get it. First time I've seen H in person since I moved six weeks ago. I go up to the door, see that the front door is open, ring the bell, don't hear any signs of life, so I go in and get the stuff on the entryway table. He finally comes out from wherever he is and we say hi to each other, then he asks: H: Do you remember how much we paid for that clock? [for those who have been following my posts, H and I had a big fight about this clock I wanted to take w/ me when I moved that he also wanted, I ended up taking it] Me: I'm not sure, it was a wedding gift, but I think it was $50 or $60. H: Oh..I thought we bought it. Well anyways, I found the same one at ShopKo today for $60. At least I think it's the same one, it's hard to tell. Me: Oh yeah? Can I see it? *we go look at the clock, I note that it appears to be the same one. I head back out to the front door and pet the cat* H: So did you get a cat? Me: No [thanks for the reminder, dude!] H: Oh. I had to do a lot of errands too today. I spent a lot of money, and I have more stuff to buy, but I'll wait until a different day so I don't spend so much at once. Me: It can help to spread all those purchases out. Well, I've gotta get going, bye!
I ended the conversation first despite him seeming to want to chat, I tried to look and smell my best, and be cheerful Which lasted until I drove away and cried for a bit... good thing my errands were 20 min. away. The clock made me sad - why would you buy a new one that's exactly the same unless you were pretty sure that your W would never be coming back with her version of that clock? Granted, he might not be thinking that way. He may not be thinking much of anything besides "I want things to look like how they used to." But it made me sad that he's busy replacing everything as if I'm not coming back. I've been holding onto this secret hope that there's no way he'll ACTUALLY divorce me, he'll come around, it will just take some time. I need to really let go of that and acknowledge that more than likely he's NOT "coming back."
Back to your point, GB - rather than spending time reflecting or whatever he seems to be going on shopping sprees to fill the literal empty spaces in his life from when I left. And who knows what the deal is with his "friend." She probably doesn't have as much time to play Words with Friends with him on her phone if she has a newborn (and an older kid) to take care of now/soon.
GoatGal - I dreamed my H had shaved his head and pierced one of his ears. Luckily when I saw him none of those things were true because I'm sure I would have reacted poorly
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
Which lasted until I drove away and cried for a bit... good thing my errands were 20 min. away. The clock made me sad - why would you buy a new one that's exactly the same unless you were pretty sure that your W would never be coming back with her version of that clock? Granted, he might not be thinking that way. He may not be thinking much of anything besides "I want things to look like how they used to." But it made me sad that he's busy replacing everything as if I'm not coming back. I've been holding onto this secret hope that there's no way he'll ACTUALLY divorce me, he'll come around, it will just take some time. I need to really let go of that and acknowledge that more than likely he's NOT "coming back." 