1st post. Long but please read, help!

[Nettles]

"Detaching. I'm so mixed up about this. Do I need to stop loving my wife?"

That's CD thinking; you have to stop loving to detach. You detach because you love.

"GAL. The books say not to wallow in emotion. But my therapist has told me my problem is that I dissociate from emotion and fill up my life so I'm so busy I don't have to feel. He says I need to learn to be hurt, vulnerable, and sad. I've always ran from negative emotions and escaped by taking on projects, etc. How do I balance this?"

Schedule time to GAL and schedule time to mediate on emotions. Did therapist say to "wallow" in emotions?

"how do I reply to "I hope we can still be friends"?"

Is there an urgency to responding? Take time and think about how you feel about it. If W asks again, tell her you are thinking about if you can. It is simply the truth, right?

A couple other things that may or may not be of use:

You used 'frustration' at the beginning a lot. Having done the same thing, I know how it comes across to others and it isn't 'frustration', it is anger. You need to figure out how to handle your actions when frustrated. The first step is admitting that you get angry.

Porn. It gives the impression that everyone is doing it all the time except you. They aren't. And those people you've seen in those videos that look like they are having such a great time? They are some of the loneliest people on the planet. Do you know what the drug usage rate is among porn actors? Netflix has a few documentaries about the porn industry. When you feel weak about staying away, check one out instead.