1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 2

[mdu]

I'm with all of you that I just need to back off and let this play out. It seems there's nothing more I can do. Ultimatums do not work with H and I'm 1000% sure would create a ton of resentment (as if he doesn't have enough towards me already) so I don't think I can realistically threaten D if he does not change jobs. Not to mention, I'm just not at that place yet where I'd follow through.

I saw H this morning when he dropped off the kids and I think I was able to maintain a convincing friendly detachment. He seemed to linger a bit and chatted some. So at least I feel good that what was likely our last interaction before he sees OW at work on Monday was a positive one. I think for now I will not contact him again until he reaches out to me. Just back way up and let him figure this out and hopefully even make him wonder a tad where MY head might be at.

I also agree it's a good time for me to regroup and reground myself. I have noticed that whenever H starts moving toward me I get so fixated on him that I start slipping on GAL. I need to get back on it and get back on rediscovering me. I definitely keep losing myself in the relationship, probably have been for years, need to fix that.