One other thing. Last year, Smokey, briefly had second thoughts and started coming around again. He spoke of our future together and said the OW was not in the picture.

I was thrilled and stopped posting on the boards for those months.

Things quickly went south. I "forgot" all I learned and went with my instincts and, now, see that I shouldn't have.

I don't think it would've made much difference because he was still deeply in replay...I can see now.

BUT, my posting and asking for support would have definitely helped me and I could have handled things much, much better.

I know it's tempting to disappear when things are going well. I would encourage you to stay in touch while you sort through all this.

Just my two cents.

"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson