Wifes severe depression, MLC, and suicide attempt

[Lifes Twists]

I was at the doctors yesterday for more tests. The tests still don't give an indication as to what is going on with my lungs. Today i do another CAT scan to see if there are any changes. Monday I meet with the doctor again and then schedule more tests and a biopsy. Both mean stays in the hospital. The stay for the biopsy will be about 4 days.

I sent a text to my wife to see if she was comfortable having a phone conversation to discuss the situation and the girls. Surprisingly enough she agrees to talk. This would be our first conversation since before she attempted suicide in April. I called her and we talked about what was going on. She seemed to think I was accusing her of not being there for the girls. I explained that I only wanted to make sure she was ok with having the girls for a longer period or I would make other arrangements. She wanted to make sure that I agreed that we would discuss this with our immediate family without grandparents or siblings involved. I explained that was the reason that I had called her first. I did not allow the conversation to stray off the subject. I was the one who finished the conversation by saying goodbye.

I will say that she did sound clearer than she has in a long time. I am not trying to read anything into it. I will have to see how future conversations go as I get the dates and plan for these procedures.

I am wondering if the breakdown and suicide attempt was her hitting rock bottom. I hope it was so she has only one direction to go. I know that for both attempted suicide and MLC that being ashamed of what you did is one reaction that a person has. I don't know if she blames me for her attempt or if it was being ashamed that is the cause of her silence for these past few months. I don't expect to ever know.

My time with my girls is as great as it can be. Having three teen girls is a handful for a single parent. This coming week I am taking the two younger ones as well as a boyfriend and a friend for the youngest camping in the white mountains. I have never done this alone before without my wife to help. Should be quite an experience.