Unless he changes his behaviour you are going to get into a cycle of same old same old. It is actions and not words that count.
Own your behaviour and let him own his. We lbs are inclined to try and own what others do. It isn't our problem. And we can't fix other people.
I've been thinking about your situation with this man Kim. I can't sleep. The dog woke me up...I think a fox was outside the bedroom window.
Ya know, you've been through a lot...more than most...and, that's SAYING A LOT FOR THIS PARTICULAR FORUM!
You suggested that I listen to my gut before. Well, my gut isn't such a good one to listen to. My "gut" has been altered, maybe irrevocably, by years of a partner's emotional abuse in the form of dishonesty, witholdings of love, selfishness, immaturity, adultery...the list goes on...and, that's just Smokey and not my childhood.
I equate insecurity with love. If I feel insecure and anxious in terms of how someone feels about me, I assume it's because there's a spark. That's what children/women of abuse do...they confuse abuse with love.
You've been through he!! and he!! can change a person--even your instincts. I wouldn't trust your gut...at least not without some firm backup from your brain.
Be very careful with this guy. You had already started to wean yourself off of him. The withdrawal from a relationship can be very uncomfortable.
You don't need anymore drama. You ESPECIALLY!! No more drama. Is he going to counseling? Did he go back? That was the litmus test, remember? He needed to show consistent effort and improvement WITH COUNSELING. IF he's not, then he's not worth the risk.
At Starbucks today, this man gave me a looksy. I immediately dismissed him...not my type...I thought to myself. At the time, I was getting texts from Captain Weirdo...anyway, I caught myself. I'm really not looking right now...but, when I do, I thought, "Maybe, I should open myself up to people who I wouldn't normally consider. If I truly want something different in the next relationship...then, maybe I NEED to LOOK FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT IN WHO I CHOSE AND WHO I SETTLE FOR AND HOW I FEEL.
This is grown up life...high school is over.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
