Barrybran - [Insert Original Thread Title Here]

[Barrybran]

Journaling:

I played my second game of soccer today. It was a good run but my team got belted. The other team showed good teamwork and strategy and our defence were sitting ducks with our midfielders lagging behind the play. I've had a run in defence both weeks and I've enjoyed it as I'm no playmaker and I'm pretty unfit so it's a good spot to be able to read the play and rather than overstressing my body because I don't know who is where and find myself behind the play.

One interesting thing that came up prior to my first game was that my wife's first serious boyfriend plays for the soccer team. It was in high school and he's now married with kids of his own so the only issue would be of a sentimental nature in my wife's mind. He's a nice guy and I don't foresee any issues. There was another guy on my team who bore an uncanny resemblance to the potential OM from the beginning of this year. He also had the same name. Funnily enough, I was playing alongside him last week and he was directing play helping me with where to go, etc. This week, someone asked me who I had met on the team (some new faces emerged) and I rattled them off but I didn't know this guy's last name but I knew potential OM's last name. Turns out it's him. So not only is my wife's first serious boyfriend on the team but so is the guy my wife considered dating at the start of this year.

Several months ago this would have been a freak out for me. Today, I'm actually amused by it. My wife made a remark about not getting too close to the soccer guys, mentioning the first boyfriend but not potential OM. It's my thing and being a small town, I'm going to run into people who have a connection with my wife. At the end of the day, I'm there to get fit and meet people and I'm enjoying myself. I understand the comment and it will be something to address when the time is right, not for the sake of knowing but understanding any concerns she has and hopefully making her more comfortable to be able to come and support me when she feels up to it (probably not until next season).

On the job front, she received an email from another potential employer saying she was "under consideration". This perked her up immensely and she's back to the positive woman she has been recently. She has also been talked up by the person who owns the building her store is in as whoever takes over the lease is going to need a team to run the new store. My wife has been consumed with work, as have I, and future/baby talk has reappeared. I understand now to just roll with the. punches, be supportive and not react to her moods but to listen, validate and let her work through her moods.

Nothing is concrete of course. She's facing unemployment in two weeks and she could either remain unemployed, find work in town or find very lucrative work out of town. In the meantime, my boss is scheduled to have surgery in three weeks so I will be running the store on my own for the three weeks that follow. It will be an insight into how my schedule will look once she leaves for good and despite my boss' misfortune, especially the financial burden she is about to face, I am excited for the opportunity to see how things are going to work for my family and I and getting some extra income to offset my debt.

I am struggling with my uni work at the moment and I am now a week behind the course after only three weeks. I have two assignments coming up and thankfully I am on top of one. I am not stressed though I am constantly aware of where I'm at and what needs to be done. My poor kids have missed out on me this week between me having to cover ridiculous shifts, opening AND closing the store twice this week while having a 4-5 hour lunch break, and also trying to catch up on uni work. Hopefully this week goes a little more smoothly this week at work and I'll be able to catch up slightly. I'm still taking on more of the burden at home as my wife is working long hours and is under a lot of stress. As much as my uni work is suffering, it has made me prioritise things in my mind and while there is room for improvement, I feel I am on the right track supporting my wife and looking after the kids/house and doing my things (soccer/uni/rest) in my time.

Despite the potential stressors I feel pretty good. I'm upbeat most of the time with the only exception being the couple of days my wife and I had a disagreement. My wife told me before she found out her store was closing that she was reading a book called ACT with love and that there were activities for her/me/us if/when she/I/we are ready. Obviously our relationship has been on the backburner since the announcement of the closure though I did start reading a preview version of this book a couple of nights ago and I may download the full version as I am enjoying it and I will understand where she is coming from when she does bring it up again.

Tonight, I'm home alone as the kids are with family and my wife is out at a birthday party with friends so it's football and study for me before a 6am start tomorrow.

So a lot is happening, I don't have enough time or money in my day and yet I feel good about life. I know things will ease off at some point and hopefully my wife and I continue to grow through it all.