one day at a time

[25yearsmlc]

So our photographer ( a family friend who has a photography business) is horribly sick and most likely won't make the baptism. Trying to find a photographer at the last minute. H decides to ask one of his employees who I guess dabbles in it as a hobby. She said yes.

I am so angry/frustrated/emotional right now. 1. Who knows how decent of a photographer she is. 2. I never cared for her very much because I always thought she was a little too "friendly" with H. Knowing what I do now I would take a guess that there has been something going on between them at some point.

THIS^^ is an issue. At first I thought you were being petty and your h was trying to help. But if you have ANY inkling that there has been an inappropriate relationship between them (and you have every right to wonder that) then call her yourself and tell her you got someone else (or have him do it in front of you) and keep looking or ask a decent Picture taking family friend to do it.

It's not like this is your wedding, and I think all that matters really is that the Baptism outfit looks cute and you look good (to be frank, that IS what matters most!!) B/c the baby will change so much so fast anyhow.

Also, do you really not know why your h won't go to Mass with you? If I were in your shoes, I'd be surprised if I could sit thru a Mass with my h -- if he were having an A,
it was not his first,
he TOLD me he still loved OW,
AND he also told me he wanted to have sex with me.

God, I'd worry that the holy water would burn him...



I do not want this woman at my daughters baptism and then at my home!!! But H has already asked her.
Any suggestions on how to handle this?

Call her to "apologize" for any confusion but you got someone else and you pre-paid them, so, too late, THANKS ANYHOW! OR have your h do it but in front of you so you know it got done. He's too goofy-

and I can actually imagine him flirting with her in front of you or your family and or setting something up with her for later, "b/c You said no to sex" and him justifying it b/c HE FEELS BAD and needs comforting and blah blah blah...

God, would you prefer dealing with that^^ scenario or 2 minutes of awkwardness on the phone?


How do I handle my urge to go off on H and be a smart a$$ b!$&@. Because I after the crap his mom pulled yesterday I have no patience left and literally spent 5 min in the bathroom yelling at the mirror, I am afraid I might loose it and yell at H, his mom and this woman next.

See above.

And we urge you to stay calm and in control of yourself NOT to attract him back so much as to:

1) to maintain a sense of dignity and quiet strength in the face of adversity;
which you'll never regret doing; (whereas you will almost surely regret "losing it")

AND

2) to NOT remind him of the reasons he left (ie. "she's such an emotional beyotch!") but to contrast his reasons for leaving with the positive image of you behaving with so much class and reason and firm compassion, that at some level he knows IF he is capable of knowing, that he lost a great catch,

AND

3) to set an example for your children b/c they are watching you.

Make sense?