Dealing with WAW Part 2

[pilot]

Continuing from the previous post, I wanted to say our texting about the schools was pleasant and upbeat. Yesterday she had been initiating texts all day, which ended abruptly when my 5 year old said we were going to meet a friend for dinner. This morning she sent me a text letting me know she got some documents I had sent UPS to her and she closed with a THANK YOU!!!!. I said you are welcome and she sent more texts afterwards which included winks and lols and different 'cute' emoticons. Even our text discussion about moving to her hometown included all of these things. The texting on her end came to an abrupt stop when I had replied I did not know where I would live up there, but I would search the internet for places for myself.

Now, it would be mind reading to speculate as there could have been a million reasons as to why she stopped at that point. But this is twice her texting has come to a sudden halt when the subject pointed to a life of me without her in it (a possible date and a home for myself). Two times could purely be coincidental. 3 or 4 times would make a pattern. However IF, and purely speculative for the sake of discussion, but IF it was a reaction for that very reason, how would that even be possible when she was the WAS?

You need to STOP saying this^^. Do you have amnesia? You put D papers in her face more than once & you did it first. You filled out parts of it too, and told her where "She had to fill it in". You kept telling her to "Confess all" OR get a divorce...(what kind of choice is that when we know you'd file if she did confess or have her file if she didn't....what??)

You admit you totally "reacted in emotion" but then seem to excuse it b/c after all, you were upset. Then you told her YOU wanted to wait and see before filing, presumed that = agreement, but when she filed "behind your back" and told you the next day, you continue to act as if HER actions were unfounded, out of the blue, and horribly sneaky. She reacted emotionally, like you. Stop with all the double standards.



I have to say I was much more comfortable while being NC and detached. Out of sight out of mind. These past few days has definitely thrown everything back into my mind.

And maybe SHE feels the same?

I use the phrase 'behind my back' because she specifically addressed me one afternoon, letting me know she had the papers filled out and was ready to file. She wanted to know what I thought we should do. I asked her if we could discuss this later this evening. She agreed. Even though she agreed, she went and filed before that evening. So whether you call it behind my back, or something else, it was not expected per a very civil and somewhat friendly conversation minutes before she got into the car to file.

As for the content, we had agreed we would discuss terms/custody and come up with the best agreement we could, and anything we did not agree on, fill in the spot where you could put things you did not agree on, and a judge would help figure it out. We were going to leave the lawyers out of it if possible. She went to a L, as did I for a consultation. The L she went to helped her fill out her petition. He did it as if he was representing her, and by that I mean he did it in an aggressive fashion. It just cemented that we would have a contested divorce because of the way it was written, and the way it portrayed me, and other content. I do not blame the L. That is what he is supposed to do. It just complicated things IF the intention was to keep things as amicable as possible.


I am not upset at the fact she filed, as we had previously discussed the benefits of filing before our S because we would be leaving the state. It was that she filed after asking to talk about it, but before we actually talked about it (8 hour span). And then not even telling me, but allowing me to tell her why I think it would now be best to wait and see if a S would make a difference. Just seemed underhanded.

Again, I am not perfect. I did throw it in her face under emotional duress. And I was pushing for it. And I get that maybe she did it thinking she had to take a defensive position in fear of something I might do. She did mention she thought I had gone to my home state the week prior to file and not tell her.