Getting a steady barrage of text messages from the wife about how awful the kids are on the hike she's taking them on. and how now she's a failure. She's also texting how good they make her feel about herself in a sarcastic manner. She doesn't seem to get that she needs to look inwards. I don't think I should respond.
Guess I see it as an opportunity to validate difficult times. But in reality, the OM, who has no interest in anything to do with kids (which may be where my W has developed her newfound realization about not wanting kids) can start to deal with her when this happens. See how well that goes over.
They aren't in danger, hopefully not at least, and it does not require a response.
Yes, Dev!!!! Back out. Don't respond. She will then have only OM to text those frustrations to. And he has no interest in dealing with kids!?!? Ha. Aha. Ahahahahaha.
Then let's see how long he's the OM while having to deal with texts like THAT.
Stay the course, bro!
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
Dev, stay dark. W will hit a wall with OM and go down in flames. Then she may finally realize what she's done. Don't enable her. She needs to hit rock bottom before she comes to her senses. I'm hoping that her epiphany will come soon. You just need to stay the course. Keep strong.
M: 59 W: 53 M: 9 yrs T: 14 yrs No kids together but D30(hers), S27, S24, D21(all 3 mine) W moved out 11/18/2013 D-Day 12/14/2013 W moved back home 12/1/2014
Thanks for your words. I'm trying. All communication has been focused on the kids, and it's been minimal at best.
I'm not going to lie, it is counter to everything I think. I feel like I should be making sure interactions are positive, ensuring that she has positive memories of me.
I am courteous and cordial in all communication. And don't get sucked into her spew. A few times when I have asked a simple question, she has gone off on me. I don't respond, and then usually get an apology.
One question, I usually call the kids at night to say goodnight, and also speak with them in the AM. She finds this incredibly irritating. I just want to speak to my kids. It's not the sword I'm going to fall on. I'd like to keep doing this because sometimes my work prevents me from seeing them as often as I would like. The S has made it a bit worse. She claims the kids don't need it. I guess I have to respect her wishes, just makes me sad. I don't want the kids to think I don't want to see or talk to them. When my W is away from them, there is zero communication.
Any thoughts on how to proceed with that? Acquiesce and respect her wishes? I feel that's what I need to do, just makes me sad.
Wanted to shoot off a comment before I leave for a business trip to Chicago.
Originally Posted By: Devaste
One question, I usually call the kids at night to say goodnight, and also speak with them in the AM. She finds this incredibly irritating. I just want to speak to my kids. It's not the sword I'm going to fall on. I'd like to keep doing this because sometimes my work prevents me from seeing them as often as I would like. The S has made it a bit worse. She claims the kids don't need it. I guess I have to respect her wishes, just makes me sad. I don't want the kids to think I don't want to see or talk to them.
You're their father! Keep up with this...irritation or not. Your R with the kids is precious and I admire you for making that effort.
I cannot believe that W claims that "kids don't need it." What planet is she on? Oh right...on planet OM!
If I were you, I'd be firm on this and say that it is important to you & the kids. You'd appreciate her cooperation on this aspect as a co-parent.
