Wife wants marriage with OM, is there any hope?

[mindsin]

This morning, I made another mistake. I sent her an e-mail regarding my feelings about overhearing her conversation with the OM. I indicated that hearing her conversation with the OM made me truly sympathize with how she must have felt when she saw my e-mail and read the words I said to the independent escort I was seeing. In that e-mail, I was calling the escort girl sweet names and telling her how beautiful she was, and how we had a wonderful time together, etc. That must have ripped her heart.

Then I went on the offensive. I asked her if she's really prepared to walk away from this marriage and put our children's happiness and well being into jeopardy. I called her out about not giving a crap about the OM's wife and kids, then I went on about how if our children had a voice, I'm pretty sure they'd want to live with mom and dad as a family.

She replied back saying that she too lived with similar mental torture during those years I cheated. She cited examples, like me going out with an escort while she was at home pregnant 8 months with our 2nd child. Then she continued citing examples of my disrespect and lack of appreciation for her efforts in this marriage.

All her points are valid.

Finally, she asked if this was happening to my own daughter, what would I tell her.

I spoke from that perspective and replied with a very long e-mail basically trying to make my case about how she needs to really reconsider her decision to continue the A, and pursue a D.

Then I sincerely apologized for hurting her so many times and how I wish I could turn back the clock and make everything right again. I then pleaded my case about how I can be a great husband for her and how much I still deeply love her. I was asking her for one last try.

She didn't respond to that e-mail. But later on, she called me and asked if I wanted to have lunch with her. We met up for lunch and talked about everything except the situation. We made small talk, and talked about our kids, our jobs, etc. It was a very short lunch because she had to leave and pick up our son.

Why did she make the effort to drive out of her way (completely in the opposite direction) to meet me for a quick 20 minute lunch, and not say a word about the e-mail exchange from the morning? It didn't make much sense to me.

Was she simply trying to see if I went over the deep end? She is afraid that I or the OMW will go to her company and expose this A. She's made that clear several times. Maybe she came to see me to make me hang on to a little bit of hope at reconciliation and to keep me cooperating so she can continue the A and plan her future with the OM. Maybe she was touched by my e-mail just enough to perhaps make her second guess her choices. Like I may have mentioned before, she is the type of person who has the ability to detach herself emotionally from any situation and make decisions based on reason and facts. I really have no idea what her motive was.