"I believe mdu said her boundary was "I cannot feel safe in the marriage so long as you are still in contact with OW." ?"

That is correct. And I've put that out there to him. But that was before I found out she was going to be moving and working in his office. Then we got into the whole...can I realistically expect him to quit his job? mess (both on here as well as with him).

M: 42
H: 43
M: 8 years
S7 and D4
H has D19 and S25 from previous M
Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA
1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail
2nd separation: 5/1/14