I haven't initiated any contact for about 2 weeks now. No relationship talk for that long either. I am getting to the point, that I don't think we can be saved. All of this stuff may be for naught, but it's getting to where I can forgive myself and accept what happened, and that it doesn't matter about her so much. The divorce word doesn't make me shiver anymore, and I am even thinking that I will have to be the one to do it.
I am not saying I give up or won't just continue on my journey. However, I am getting to a point that I do want to move on with my life, and don't really know if I want her in it or not anymore. I love her, and always will, but is it the right kind of love? Can I be happy with her? I just want to be happy, and my D's to have a good life. I am getting more comfortable that I can give them that from me alone. It's so hard to want to keep fighting, but yet move on. It will get easier, but trying to figure out those answers are going to be a bit consuming.
