I probably would mention to h that his OW called you with that "game" (which was odd at best, cruel at worst)
and leave it at that. Drop it. Do not engage further. And see a lawyer. I don't understand the reluctance to do that, b/c you cannot afford NOT to have the information you need to make smart decisions that protect you and your kids.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016