Dealing with ongoing affair -which may now be over

[dawgy]

Hey Pete . Things seem to be shaping up for you for sure . Im envious for sure . I have no idea what my wife is up to when shes not home . Although i have suspicions that there is a new guy in the picture , and hes single . Backwhen things were good she told me about this guy she new from school and child hood. She said he moved back home from the west . He split up from his wife and his kids are grown . She said she was going to a funeral with him last night . I said you dont want to go with your husband and she said that i didnt know the woman very well but he did and so did she . I think theres something going on but who knows . i care less and less every day . As much pain as shes inflicted on me , its hard to keep on loving .

Some days i feel like telling her to leave and I never want to see her again , but then other days I ache just to be close to her . I still want her but more and more everyday its for the kids . Shes just doing too much damage too my soul . How can I ever forgive her for hurting me soooo much and continuing to do so . Have you had the same thoughts Pete? Im looking for light at the end of the tunnel . Its like i see a light and it gets brighter by times but then somebody adds another section to the tunnel and it gets dimmer again . At least the light is not totally gone although times itd been down to a flicker