1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 2

[Train]

My opinion? You just stop talking about her in front of him or to him.

I mean, what's the alternative? You keep mentioning her just to make it look more "genuine"?

As for your boundary, is it not that you will not work on your M as long as OW is in the picture? A boundary isn't: "You can't speak to OW!" That is control. A boundary is: "You can't have her AND me" or "I will not be in an open marriage with a third party." So you can still be breezy with your H as long as you're taking care of you and not letting him have you both. As long as you are emotionally/physically unavailable until he makes a firm commitment, then you're still well within the lines of your boundary with the plan pitched above.

Nothing different than where you were a few weeks ago.

Your H won't believe the changes at first. You have to be consistent. That's your big job.