25, First of all I'm fine, nor do I have any "fear" of the future. Just because I vent here does not mean I go home and tell my D's that their mother didn't pay HER bill for HER phone nor do I whine or complain. I have taught my D's all their lives that there is nothing "fair" about life and you handle whatever comes and move ahead. The fact is I am the only stable thing my D14 has in her life since her mother has decided to become obsessed about herself and replaying her "lost" years. She has rained a S$3t storm of hurt down on her D's, her family, my family without a thought to how it affects anyone else. I have to be the one to tell my D that my W has filed as she refused to tell her herself or with me. I'm tired of dealing with a selfish, egotistical, immature, anxious, W and the fact is she can afford to pay for her own dam phone and knows that it is a lot harder for me to afford to pay the extra right now than it is for her.
I have NEVER treated their mother with anything other than respect, in front of them or not! God knows she doesn't deserve my respect at times. I am happy with the way my life is going and because I'm pissed off that she is trying to steal $100 from me doesn't mean my "happiness" level is any lower. The happiest person in the world would be upset if they were mugged. They would vent about it, try to get justice and the money back, but it doesn't mean that because they got pissed that they were stolen from that they are no longer "happy" in general.
So, from the post it seems that you think after I had texted with my W, I went home acted angry or unhappy or pissed, told my D that her mother was just a horrible person, ran into my bedroom and moaned. Not what happened. My D and I ate, watched a movie, laughed and played with the dogs. The fact is I am the ONLY stable thing my D's have in their lives. My W manipulates them both when they see her, tries to make them feel bad if they spend more time with me and lies to them. She has told me that, even though she can afford it, she will not help pay for D14's school but tells her to her face that she will "try" and send her! There is more to my D going to private school then just her having to go to public school. She knows NO ONE at the public school, she has been preparing to go to this school her whole life as both my W and I have always promised her she would go. She already has her sister now grad. and no longer there for her. Her parents are getting a D. She now spends half her time at one house and the other half at another. She is starting HS this year and up to now has never had more than 10 people in her class and will now have 40. She went to school with the same kids every year all her life and they were like brothers and sisters, she has zero experience at making new friends and while that is a good skill to have, right now with everything going on in her life it isn't a good time for her to be forced to learn that skill. Then there is the reason why the kids have been in private school all their lives...the schools here where we live are HORRIBLE! I'm glad you did well in public school, so did I. But the school I went to was decent and run well. The schools in this state are some of the worst in the nation. My MIL is a teacher in a local district. Even she says the schools are horrible!
I do not "blame" my wife for "everything", only what she is responsible for. I couldn't be any MORE calm when dealing with my D's while my W is as not calm as she can be. Why you would think I was anything BUT calm around my D's I don't know. Just what am I "blaming" my W for that isn't her fault? Whether or not she chose to have a MLC, she is making choices every day that are selfish, wrong and quite frankly she would never do to anyone else. She is so afraid to "offend" other people except me of course. I've seen her eat more money unfairly when situations came up at work many times. It's just me that she thinks she can treat like a piggy bank even when I don't have money to afford it.
The fact is my W has made a mess not just of her own life but everyone around her lives. My D19 is now unable to live at home and go to school since now that my W refuses to help pay for her school or a car to get there (which she had told my D19 she was going to do until now when it's too late to make other plans)even though she can well afford to do so. This leaves the best option for her to live with her boyfriend who lives close enough to walk to school and any job she can get. Of course that is no reason for her to live with someone but she has no other option for now. My D14 is now going to be forced to deal with so many things all at once after a lifetime of her mother telling her over and over that D was wrong, she would never do that to her kids. I'm left to clean up HER mess.
I couldn't be more kind and loving with my girls. The fact is I have a great relationship with them both and they feel very safe with me. I am perfectly fine with every choice I have made throughout this whole sitch. I have not taught my D's anything that I'm not proud to have them learn. Everything you have talked about makes fine sense and is good advice for anyone. I just am not doing anything other than what you talk about. I am able to vent here about the stupid, selfish things that my W does and at the same time be the stable influence in my girls lives that they need. God help them if that changes because it is certain that their mother is not anywhere close to able to provide them with anything close to this.
