1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 2

[mdu]

"you're going to have to find SOME way, mdu, to both allow your H to have a "voice" thru this process while still not relinquishing too much relationship power to him at this raw stage."

I agree. But really don't know how to do this tactically. It actually makes me think that maybe I should have been more collaborative last night? Communicate in some way "Hey, let's work this out together" rather than "I'm going to interrogate you and you BETTER give me the right answers!" That wasn't at all my intent going into it but somehow that's the way I think it may have came off.

I called H this morning and told him that I was sorry for being pushy last night and I know that's not helpful. His tone really warmed to that and he said 'thank you'. I hope that was the right thing to do, I was motivated because he has said that when I apologize it helps.

And I'll leave it at that, certainly for the rest of the day. I'm headed out to a concert a couple of hours away with some friends in a couple hours. Tomorrow am H and I will have to see each other to exchange kids, I'll keep it light for sure.

Next week is on my mind a lot, of course. I keep thinking I'm 100% screwed. His feelings are going to get all kicked up and I will have no chance. I truly do not know what to do. When he was/is consumed with her he won't LET me in, even if I'm doing all the right things. He doesn't do two well, which is probably good because it's a clear sign where his head is at. But with this latest challenge I think may work against me.