Unfortunately I am in really bad shape. H really gave me very little hope that he is willing/able to partner with me and help me feel safe in the marriage. It all started off so badly with him just being totally silent, it was clear he did not really give serious thought to me and how this is impacting me. While people may read through our exchange and feel that he gave some decent answers I can't emphasize enough the negative tone throughout. In the end he was quite mean and cold, just like he was during the A. It feels like her coming up here is kicking it all up again for him and we're back to the beginning. And the thought that I then 'misbehaved' AGAIN and likely pushed him even closer to her is just more than I can bare. I feel just awful about myself and that my kids are the only thing keeping me even remotely going at the moment. I am so devastated (again!). I seriously am not sure how I will get through the day and I totally can't even imagine facing next week when she will be in the office with him, I am in so much pain right now. I am really hoping I can find a way to start to pull out of this pain.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
