Let's say someone with "healthy self esteem" is in this situation.....(and I say this because your self esteem seems to be low right now.) Making these types of decisions in that condition causes people to do things they would never do when they have the right kind of self esteem.
I believe they would say... "What in the hell am I doing here even considering this?? It's one thing to forgive an affair, but even THINKING about it being ok to have a man and a woman who have had a RECENT affair working 25 feet from each other 8 hours a day and thinking it is ME that should be learning how to cope with it is total nonsense, I not only can't do that to myself, but I WON'T do it. End of story"
Now.. Let's say you try to make this work... Let's say that it doesn't and you end up divorced. Let's say he ends up with her... Let's say that 5 years down the road and you are healthy emotionally, self esteem back, and really happy...
I believe you would look back and say the same thing the above person did.. "What in the hell was I thinking, I can't believe I even thought so low of myself that I let that happen. THAT will never happen again to me. I don't need that in my life."
I am saying this because I just want YOU to make sure what your heart is truly telling you and that you aren't just going along with what some of the others are saying. Maybe your emotions are all over the place for good reason. It's almost like asking for pain.
Maybe.. And I do say maybe.. If you are reconciled and doing great 5 years down the line and suddenly your husband and the OW end up with a chance to work in the same office again... then MAYBE you would be ok with it... But NOW????
In other words.. There really is NOTHING wrong with you saying you can't and won't do it. Just strong and firm. No anger. Just resolve. I don't think you would look back and be sorry down the road.. Maybe now you would go back and forth.. But NOT down the road. Down the road when your self esteem comes back... I believe you will say you were GLAD you were strong...
It's great that you are wanting to make changes and I believe you do. Asking you to make changes and asking you to do this is two very different things.
Starsky.. With what you have gone through.. What do you think you would do if this same situation came upon you now? Taking mdu out of it. With what you know now, what would you do or say?
