Wife moved out need help!!!

[25yearsmlc]

So she called to finalize plans for the weekend it's clear that she wants to spend time with me and the boys. I asked her if she wanted to do things alone with the boys and she said no I want you to come. She said to me the other day when I said she was being cold that she didn't mean to but she was emotionally burned out. I am going to work on my R and myself day by day.

THIS is a clue Go...and it's one of several. I think you need to "gather intel" from your posts and your memory and dig deep. Your wife has been the sole breadwinner for how long now? That is a lot for anyone and though it may seem unfair in modern times, most women would feel unduly burdened by that, AND four kids. Plus most women, right or wrong, do look at men to be providers and protectors...not just nanny's. And finally, most women also feel guilty for not being home enough... and if she's also feeling burdened by having to do a lot of housework despite working full time (OR if it's not up to her standards if she doesn't do it, which means she DOES do it...) then it's a recipe for dissatisfaction.

And if she feels burned out emotionally, that is very significant. Have you read the "Five Love Languages"? It's a simple but yet very helpful book to read and my guess is her "love tank" has been running on empty for some time now. It's rare for a woman to want to leave her h AND kids...and I think you need to really hear what she is telling you.

When you are not sure of her meaning, ASK. Maybe you could ask her what she meant by that comment "emotionally burned out". Explore what she is telling you and LISTEN to her carefully...making full eye contact to let her know she is being heard.

Do not ask her for any decisions. Just ask for clarifications of what she tells you --the "emotionally burned out" was a great example of something that needed more details.

Gotan, What do you think SHE would say was wrong with the marriage, if she were here?