With respect to your comments, she has noticed the 180s for sure, I'm much more involved with the kids activities, I have quit some activities, and my relationship with the kids has never been better. I have also learned to not argue feelings, and have realized I used to try to control situations to minimize hurt to myself. She has noticed the difference, but because she has the feelings of despair and anxiety around me, she is very cautious. As a side note, she told me she has no interest in "crawling into bed" with me, to which I concurred. She feels the decision is obvious based on her inability to get rid of the OM. It drives me nuts, because I have tried to protect myself with respect to the OM. Maybe I should have acted as if I didn't care, but to me, to not stand up for myself after the OM was discovered would have been even worse.
I will begin to implement the plans, and I meet with my L next week. And perhaps my main goal now is to continue with 180s. Of course, with no communication, it's going to be hard to show her my changes, ah yes, the age old dilemma of the Last LRT'er
Thanks again for all the support. I'll post again once work is done.
