Cross country DB with WAS

[Anders]

I found this gem of wisdom this morning which has been insightful as I look at where I am this week:
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So I discovered years ago that a relationship starts getting better when they start saying nice things to each other. So I thought the old traditional idea that we’ve got to go like Dante’s Inferno, that we’ve got to go through hell before we get to heaven is not correct. We can bypass hell and go straight to heaven. The old idea that we’ve got to go in a fit, to get angry, we’ve got to show anger, we’ve got to show hurt, we’ve got to show how the other person has hurt us and so on. The relationship never gets better until we get beyond that. So why not go straight to building each other’s ego, which is what it’s all about.

...the wife has no self-esteem and therefore, after a period of time (which can different in length from one hour to three years), she begins to have subconscious contempt for him because he’s in love with her. Her self-contempt spills over on him. So she begins to feel negative, or the absence of the old positive, happy, in-love feelings that she used to have.

Now, she does not know why there has been a big change in her feelings. She just knows that there has been a big change in her feelings.
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