Ready for some forum help

[NewB3]

Never saw my reply, so I'll do one short and sweet. I would let my frustrations of no "us" time, non sexual, to take place. We were so busy with life and a new small child. Once it built up, I would get up in te middle of the night and write a letter to my wife. Telling her how badly I missed her.... We would discuss and said we would work at it.
We never went to therapy with her. She mentioned it after the baby was born, in passing. Something like I am thinking about going to therapy... Are you interested? I assumed she was going to find out what her issues with us might be. I was blind to the fact that she wanted us in therapy. My reply was simply.. If you feel you need to go, I think you should. Since bomb, I realized this and apologized. For lack understanding and writing those notes.
In my divorce answer I asked judge to sen us to at minimum 12 sessions. Instead of waiting, she had her attorney reply with agreeing to go to a few counseling sessions. Nothing was mentioned about closure or reconcile. I got on a waiting list with promise of a meet within 30days. She waited 10 and called yesterday to tell me she had an appointment for us. I had picked a female, thinking of my wife. Well, we ended up with a male that ruNs the practice. We go to our first in 10 days. I see no emotion from her most if the time. Lack of concern and then, out of the blue, signs that she wants me here. I have no reasons for her bomb other than what I mentioned above.