Regarding your question about self worth. For me, it was less about "how" I regained self worth, and more about my "believing" that I could change my perception about my self worth, that I could rewrite the script that I had been hearing in my head for years.
In my life, I had begun to see some people as "perfect", and, therefore, I was "imperfect" by comparison. As an "imperfect" person, i had to work extra hard to try to get folks to think I was ok enough for them. I see now how flawed that thinking was. Funny thing is, after coming through this, how many folks thought that I was "perfect", even though I wasn't, and I'm not. We're all flawed, no matter what it looks like on the outside.
I would remind myself every day, multiple times a day, that I was, in fact, a person worthy of good things. I was worth being treated properly. I was worth being considerate of. I was worth being loved, both by others AND myself.
As a pleaser, you are used to sacrificing for others. Unfortunately, you can see where sacrificing gets you- tons of resentment on your end, and folks that don't respect you on the other end. By learning how to ask for what you want, you will no longer feel resentment because of favors gone unreturned. Others will be forced to treat you with respect because they MUST.
Pleasers have a very difficult time with this. For whatever reason, they find it difficult to ask for what they want. The fear of rejection, or anger or whatever else, paralyzes pleasers. They'd rather do something themselves, even if they are already overwhelmed, and hope for gratitude and appreciation, rather than to ask for the help that they desperately need.
Recognize your tendencies and consciously stop them, using your intellect to direct you and not your feelings. Each day, practice asking for what you want. Today, start with one thing that you need help with. Look someone right in the eye and ask for help. Don't ask sheepishly or apologetically. Ask kindly but firmly- no matter how frightened you feel. Tomorrow, ask for two things. You'll notice how each time, each day, you'll begin to feel more in control of the world around you. Make it a habit.
