Mach - thank you for all your sound advice. It's proven to be priceless.
I still re-read your old posts to me. It serves as a reminder to not take things for granted and get lazy with my DB'ing.
Thanks again for stopping by.
You asked....right ???
As I was reading your post about the weekend, I couldn't help but notice that you found something negative to say about it (her leaving). And how that plays into your initial reaction to dive back into co-dependent behaviors....
A change of perspective. Look at W as a new girlfriend and that you're in the "getting to know each other" phase. With that mindset, your stomach won't drop any more when she drives off.
You're doing really well. Remember my previous comment about context and timing when interacting with W. If you do, then you'll just be fine!
BTW, I am still waiting for Ms. Wonka to initiate contact with me for that "talk." It is like a small broken wooden toothpick left inside my slimey brain that needs to be picked out! Ah well. Bopping along just fine here.
Thornton, I picked up the DR book Monday and read most of it. Got on the DB community and started reading. Found your situation (started the day after mine did). I've read all of your posts and I wish I gotten on here when you did. Maybe I'd be closer to where you are now. I'll be starting a thread of my own very soon and I hope I can get the advice of some of the same that have been helping you. I'm sure I could use some of the 2x4s that Mach1 delivers.
You've inspired me! Joe
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
So things are still progressing nicely. We are texting/calling each other frequently and having fun like when we first started dating.
We plan on having a date night this Friday. I want to think of something different for us to do, still researching on that.
We are experiencing a little bit of a push/pull dynamic. I think we are both still cautious and don't want to spook the other one off. She called me today and told me she was feeling the dynamic. I told her I could too and I thanked her for bringing it up.
I shared with her my IC suggestion that we plan things in advance to avoid any resentment about who should be asking, inititating, planning etc. She agreed and was excited about that suggestion.
It feels good to communicate with her. In the past we would have swept it under the rug and become resentful with each other.
She has been initiating most of the contact since we started dating again. I didn't want to spook her off. She said she wants to know that I think of her too and that she likes when I reach out as well. I thanked her for sharing her feelings and that I was happy she was able to communicate them to me. I also told her I didn't want her to feel like I wasn't thinking of her and would make more of an effort to initiate as well.
Where you are sounds really fun in some ways, like the anticipation is back, the thrill of uncertainty... with the added bonus of intentionality in creating a healthy relationship. I hope you're enjoying it!
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Heh Thornton. Sorry to hijack your page. You couldn't look at my sitch? I royally messed up today....
M 35 W 31 D 10 Married 3 years Together 11 Single since Nov 13 Moved out Dec 13 ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more' OM confirmed Jun 14
It is like a small broken wooden toothpick left inside my slimey brain that needs to be picked out! Ah well. Bopping along just fine here.