Thanks CB! Went well tonight. Had dinner with MIL, D14, W and W's GM. My W kept bringing up stuff about her new house and I just listened and said "Uh-uh"..a lot! Seems the dog she took with her has gotten so bad he now gets in the shower with her! She is seriously thinking about getting him on anti anxiety meds! Well, she's on them, why not the dog? I made a point of looking directly into my W's eyes when she spoke. Funny how she just can't look me in the eye but for a second or two! Weird!
While I was there my D19 called me on my cell. I could tell my W was bugged as she never calls her mom. Not my sandbox. My D19 asked where I was and when I told her she got quiet and asked me to call her back when I got home. Umm.... Turns out she is seriously thinking of staying at her boyfriends because now that her mom won't help her pay for school or a car (we were going to help her get a used car after she grad from HS but can't afford now that W has left) she can get a job and take a bus to class from his place but can't from here because we're out in the country. Thanks so much for waiting until we could get this done and D14 in private school before running away, W! It really bugs me the way W just doesn't give a da&% about anyone but herself! Not only that, the only time she is "happy" it seems is when her daddy is telling her how proud he is of how "empowered" she has become! She just bugs me so much!
I made sure not to linger and was the first to say I had to go leaving W standing on the sidewalk as I got in the car laughing with my D. Felt good to see her looking at me and waving good-bye! On a bad note I had to tell my D14 tonight that her mom had filed. She knew she left but had no idea that she filed for D. I told my D14 and also that at some point soon she may have to decide who she lives most of the time with (I got a call from my L saying that they need to know what agreements my W and I had come to. None so far but it seems her L is pushing so I felt it was time my D14 knew.) My D14 was shocked but took it well. I made sure she knew I only want what's best for her and I want her to have her mom and me both in her life. I will always be available for her and will never stop her from seeing her mom if she stayed with me and I'm sure her mom felt the same.
For all you LBS's out there wondering if it's harder when the MLC is still at home, for me at least, it's been easier since my W left. I still get angry and hate being alone, but all in all I am much better able to detach. Of course I'm no closer to "saving" my M but with an MLC was that ever really possible until she got through the tunnel?
