Thanks, GB. An A is not a deal breaker for me. I also know that the A was just a symptom and not the problem, but it explains A LOT about why he was so willing to work on things in January, but then backed WAY off sometime in February. Though the A seems to have had some beginnings as far back as August of last year, it didn't seem to get really serious until March.
What would I "win"? I have to think about this some more. At some moments, it feels like I'd just be winning the booby prize! What does she give him? Besides the obvious thrill of a new R, she also speaks H's love language (words of affirmation) all over the internet for everyone to see, so I think that's a big thing for him. He felt like he only got criticism from me and he gets, "you are the loveliest, tenderest..." blah blah blah from her. The stuff they say to each other online seems very like high school first love kind of stuff.
I don't know what I want. This is something that has just really taken root in my mind today, so I obviously have a lot of self-exploration to do.
So, if I decide I do want to try to save my M, what to do now? Re-read DR and start with a beginner's mind?
There is a BIG part of me that feels crazy for even thinking of trying.
