I don't know if this is helpful (or healthy for that matter) but here is my dream: I reach a point where I so do not care about OW and she is such a non-entity, non-threat to me that I strut into his office right by her (looking absolutely FABULOUS, of course), all smiles and happy. Give her a little once over (maybe, but probably don't even acknowledge her at all) Grab H by the hand and walk out right past her together without a care in the world, both totally focused on just us.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
