So, am I 'acting as if' we are reconciling?

Because truly, I feel like I don't know and that seems like something I ought to have clarity on, no?


M: 42
H: 43
M: 8 years
S7 and D4
H has D19 and S25 from previous M
Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA
1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail
2nd separation: 5/1/14