1 step forward, 1000 steps back

[Train]

I'm just going to echo what Wonka has said (and what I've said before):

TRY YOUR HARDEST, mdu, to start with a beginner's mind. You THINK you know what your H is going to say and how he will respond and how he's feeling. And perhaps your assumptions are correct. There's also a 50% chance they're not.

Until you've heard from him - literally HEARD him - you don't know where he is or what he's thinking.

And if you snap and lose your cool, he's going to shut down.

A tip: think of a mantra. You can use it every time you feel you're about to explode. You can say it out loud. Or say it to yourself. Train your mouth to close even when the thoughts pop in your brain.

You have self-control. I see it in all your posts.

Now embrace it and use it. Now. It's never been more important.

Let your H clean up this mess.

Ask him:

1. Whether he feels having OW so close in proximity is going to bother him, personally.
2. Whether be believes having OW so close in proximity is going to harm your reconciliation attempts.

And listen to what he says. Not what you THINK he's saying. What he's *actually* saying.

Enter this *believing* he wants to be with YOU. Because he's said he has. Enter this *knowing* you and your H are the team. OW is not on y'all's team. So, for this conversation, she's almost irrelevant.

This is about you and your H.

Go back to the concert. Go back to the day at the beach.

He chose YOU.

Screw those insecurities! Don't give him a *reason* to re-think his decision to choose you, mdu.

You're the one, baby. Now act it! Be the OW to the XOW!