OK, so this is what that would look like.

Again, I'm not counting on an effect here - this is kind of the last call for Zew letter.
This is the one I put out as the standing offer.
It's the one that maybe she reads a few months down the road if she ever bottoms out, and gives her some hope.

I'm looking for anyone to catch me on anything controlling, judgmental, score keeping, blaming or just over the top.

W,

I wanted to reaffirm my position.

I am sorry we're at this point; I fully accept responsibility for my part in it.

I am sorry I that I did not recognize your attempts to communicate your unhappiness to me.

I do not want to divorce; I believe reconciliation has more to offer us and our family.

If you choose to join me you will find that I am fully committed to working on our issues, including my own that brought us to this point.

I know it will take a leap of faith. I believe that if we let go of the anger and resentment and commit to honest, open communication that we can succeed.

I have always had the belief that if we worked together, we could overcome any challenge. We have overcome many over the years.
I would like to think we can do that again now. There is a lot of help available to us if we decide to make things work.

I so much want to get out of the rut we've been in and get back to spending time with you and doing things as a couple and with other people.

We have misconceptions about each other that could be resolved if we communicated directly with each other.

I welcome you having an active role in our finances because we could actually start planning what we want to spend for us and for the kids.

I still believe in us. We both want the best for our kids, and we both want a more balanced and more fulfilling marriage than we had.
If we stop clinging to past wrongs and focus on the future, we can ask each other for what we want and need,
and build a relationship that satisfies us both. I do want to see you happy.

We have to move on from where we are.
I am not willing to live in an open marriage and we cannot work on our marriage as long as there is a third person involved.

We each have big decisions to make as to how to proceed from here. Please let me know your thoughts.

Zew