Hi Chip, I'm sorry you find yourself here, but there is a lot of good information here. :-)
(yes she clearly has trust issues). ...So here we are again & I think I know what the real issues are this time & they are all things that I can & should feel happy to address, If I'm honest I don't think I really committed to our relationship for many years & I believe that was what she really needed after having such a difficult adolescence.) Then, speaking from experience, it will take her a long time to trust any changes you make. Be patient, not pushy.
'is she worth the effort'?
You were with her for 23 years. Is she worth it? It's not easy work.
