Perhaps I could have MLC and StubbornDyke vouch for me - they both have met me. I'd be glad to give references if that helps.
Of course I love my D.
I looked up how teenagers relate to their parents during divorce. It said dads should be flexible and that the mom was often closer to the child than the dad. I realize this is not always so, but that is what I found. NO, I am not using this as an excuse - rather it reassured me that W and d16 being close could be good.
I took my d to work this morning, asked how she was when she came home, am planning two trips with her. I have invited her to movies, to go shopping, to go hiking, to just do stuff, but no cigar. I told her I love her a few days ago, call her "love" or "sweetie" or "my darling". I read books to her as a kid, encourage her violin playing, rub her feet sometimes.
Yes, I work a lot, but that seems a chicken and egg problem, do I work because people aren't with me or vice versa? My job has me working in the evenings here (because of time change).
I sent picture and jokes and short messages to my d16 when I was out of the country, as recommended here. I went to counseling. I have been told that people like me. I speak to strangers in lines, invited two people I heard speaking English into our garden and gave them a tour, complimented a tourist I heard speaking Danish because I liked hearing it.
Your counterproposal would be that I go on the regular (3 week) trip and then come back? The house would be empty weekdays except for me and the two cats. Should I find that shared office space now? I do get pretty ground down by being alone so much, lost in my bloody head, and then get to work evenings too.
At least the job pays well and is interesting, but has the above downsides.
So I am more than willing to give D time. I offer, but she refuses. She could come out and hang in the garden while I water, but no cigar.
I told D I wanted to see her on Wednesday evenings, a daughter-dad date.
I offer, but she turns me down. What else can I do? I am easy with W seeing more of d16 if they are closer - I want the best for her.
